This past year has been quite the ride. For both of us, it has been the craziest 365+ days of our lives, and we are so grateful that God has continued to sustain us, lead us, and show his faithfulness to us. We have experienced great joy, great difficulty, and seen great clarity in God holding us in his hands.

And it all started by reading a little book. In the spring of 2008, we were living in Jacksonville and both Diana and I read a book by Gary Haugen called Just Courage. The basic premise of the book (which we highly recommend) is that we are invited by God to live our lives in such a way that we require him to be faithful and for us to be dependent on him giving us courage. Every day. So we prayed that God would lead our lives to make us depend on him for that courage.

We had no idea where he would take us, and most of the time we didn’t even know (and often are still unaware) of just how much courage God provide our hearts with. And he does it for every one of his children.

Disclaimer: Reading the book mentioned above does not guarantee you have to live through an earthquake in Haiti.

As we look back on this past year since we moved to Haiti, and as we look forward to the days, weeks, and months ahead, we are grateful for the courage God promises us.

There have been times of great fear, and times of great unknown. The day after the earthquake was the worst and hardest day of our lives, with hopelessness and despair gripping this country. We experienced fear. I experienced it when we flew back to this island the week after the quake to drive in food and supplies, and Diana was afraid of her husband driving across the border where people had been shot for food. Diana was fearful when she flew back to Haiti that week to bring Mindylove to the US, and as her husband, I was afraid of my wife flying into the center of a capital city within a country in complete and utter chaos. Yet in all of this, there was indescribable, unimaginable courage – courage that we were largely unaware of, but that was gifted to us as God so led.

We love Haiti. And we love living here. We thank God he has opened the door for us to be here. And yet, often my mind races back to the hardest times living here. I recall the many tears we have cried. I think of the hopeless faces with have encountered. I think of the horror of earthquake aftermath and the car accident trauma in our hospital. I think of the sick people no human can heal, and the millions of hungry people we cannot feed. I recall the frequent injustices we see firsthand that make my heart sick. I think of the draining nature of all of it, and I wonder at how a human heart can survive pain like that.

In that wondering, I am brought back to thanking Jesus for giving us courage. He commands us to “be strong and courageous” (Joshua 1:9) but then he actually provides the courage for our hearts as well. And we know this is truly good news.

And we have witnessed truly great news play out. We have seen God rescue orphans, and have watched amputees walk again. We have been able to be a part of God feeding the hungry, and we have witnessed his protection. We have made lifelong friends, had hearts melted by countless children, learned a new strange sounding language (yon lang ak son dwol yo), laughed a lot, welcomed many dear visiting friends, and we have received a gift of real hope of seeing Haiti transformed.

We want to thank all of our friends for praying for and encouraging us this past year, and we hope that you will continue to pray for us. And if you don’t believe in prayer, or God, or him giving us courage, we pray that God would draw you to himself, and make you dependant on him, and his courage, for every day of your life. 

Also, if you have a few hours free, order that book, Just Courage, and read it. I hope it will help you see the freedom we have been given ever more clearly.  

Diana’s sister and brother-in-law came to visit us last week in Haiti. It was really fun to get to hang out with them, and they experienced a taste of life in Haiti with us. (Thanks for joining us, Alison and Xavi!)

With them coming to visit, Diana and I started to think about visits to this country, and we read some interesting stuff recently that further intrigued us in conversation.

Some research firm, Mercer, recently ranked the major cities of the world in multiple categories. The full report they released costs money, so I have not read the report, however it has been reviewed in hundreds of news outlets. In the overall rankings, Port-au-Prince, not-surprisingly, did not fare so well. Here is what the report said:

1)      Vienna at #1 is the considered the best city in the world to live in.

2)      Baghdad at #221 is considered the worst.  The survey realized, and rightfully so, that street bombings and rebel forces terrorizing the city make it a bad place to be.

3)      Port-au-Prince, Haiti came in at #213 on the list, placing it in the bottom 10 cities overall worldwide to live in.

4)      It gets worse.

Mercer also did an “eco-ranking based on water availability and drinkability, waste removal, quality of sewage systems, air pollution and traffic congestion” – the standard things you need to live – and on that list, (as Business Week states) “Calgary placed first, followed by Honolulu. Port-au-Prince, Haiti finished at the bottom.”

Or to put it more bluntly, for the basic essentials needed to live, Port-au-Prince is the worst overall city in the world.

There are, of course, many slums in the world that have concentrated pockets of destitution that are similar to or worse than what we see here in Haiti. Don’t let these rankings trick you, this ranking index is for cities overall, meaning that  cities with bad slums and also good neighborhoods are averaged to be ok, even though there are similar and/or worse pockets of despair in hundreds of cities around the world.

As for life in Haiti, we love living here. It is really hard and really, really hot, but we wake up every morning and see the city of Port-au-Prince from our apartment, and we thank God that we get to be here. The country of Haiti has a lot of beauty, and a lot of hope, and it is truly indescribable until you experience it.

However, if you do come, be forewarned that upon arrival, the airport baggage guys now know a new phrase. And it’s all our fault...

When Diana and I were waiting at the airport the other day, the employees were trying to tell us in Creole that we were stingy and should give them money. We of course refused, but they enjoyed speaking to us in Creole, so we kept chatting and joking around. They wanted to know how to say stingy in English, so we told them, thinking it was funny. Then about 20 of the uniformed employees gathered around to learn, and write down the phrase, “You are Stingy.” They were excited to be able to tell the American (or Canadian -- for our Canadian friends) visitors that, hoping future travelers will feel bad, and give them some cash.

So we apologize in advance for every future visitor to Haiti that is told they are stingy upon arrival. Hopefully there are no hard feelings from our friends. And hopefully our friends won’t tell anyone else it was us.

The desperation in Haiti continues on a daily basis here. Much of Port-au-Prince still looks like the remnants of a war zone. Hundreds of thousands of people still live under tents/tarps/sheets (including us (more on that below). We commonly see people with limbs that have been amputated. We hear people’s true stories of horror on a daily basis and it continues wears on our hearts.
 
Recently, some of our American friends here told us they needed a lot of help handling, storing, distributing, and keeping up with all of the aid they are trying to use to help this country. The organization that these friends work for has distributed, among other things, over 4 million meals since the earthquake. And they desperately need help to continue helping the hundreds of thousands of Haitians in need of help. We wanted to help, and were very aware that our experiences here and understanding of Creole could be very helpful, BUT we also did not want to move away from the orphans we have been living with. After much prayer, and seeing that the orphanage we were working in is now running well (which was our ultimate goal when we moved here), we felt like we had to go help with the immediate pressing need of earthquake relief in this collapsed country. So, late last week, we moved 15 minutes down the road to fill some much needed roles. We were very sad to leave the orphans, but we still go visit them and go to church there each Sunday, and we know they are well taken care of. 

We will continue to be involved in those orphans’ lives, and we are now busier than ever working on earthquake relief. Time has been flying here. Jeremy and I (Jay) have been building a 3500 sq. ft. tent (See pictures on Jeremy's sweet blog) that will be the medical supply hub for hospitals throughout the country. Right now they cannot even sort through the supplies because they have no place to unload them. We are hoping to have the tent finished tomorrow and then begin distributing medical supplies throughout the country. Diana has been working for the hospital on site here that has seen about 15,000 patients since the earthquake. There are many American doctors coming in, but these doctors do not speak Creole, and there are few people in this country who speak English and Creole as well as Diana, so her help is greatly needed there.

Where we are working right now does not have enough room for everyone to stay because they have volunteer teams that are coming in to help. This means that they need some resilient volunteers to move into tents. We volunteered and it is hard to sleep sometimes with the wind and rain at night, but we have some good neighbors that we are grateful for... [see pictures of our tent and our favorite neighbor's tent below]  Still, living in a tent makes us very acutely aware of the innumerable Haitians that are living under cardboard and do not have a (marketed as, but still not completely) waterproof Coleman tent like we do.

The location we live in has steel fencing and security guards (it’s very safe, Mom and Dad) but the overall compound with the warehouse and such is not yet fenced in. We have are 2 Mexican foreman running the fencing crew here. They were working on the US/Mexican border, as US employees, and then got deported back to Mexico. So their boss sent them here instead. They are good fencemakers. And really nice guys too.

We feel grateful that we get to be in Haiti and that Jesus continues to provide means for us to be a part of His work. We will blog again soon about the status of the fence, tents, and life here in this beautiful and desolate country.

Through 4:52 pm, today seemed like a normal day. Then the ground started shaking, then my body started shaking, and then my heart started shaking. And really neither the ground, nor my body, nor my heart has stopped shaking for about 8 hours now. There are still aftershocks that send shocks through my spine. They keep me from sleeping, along with my still solidly shaken heart and burden that lies ahead in the morning.

Nobody knows what devastation lies waiting tonight. I do know that when the earth was shaking, I had very similar thoughts to what Jeremy thought. We were fortunately on a walk with orphans, and not inside buildings. At first, I assumed a tractor was coming at us and I wanted to get the kids out of the way. But we couldn’t tell where the rattling was coming from. And I kept thinking, this has got to be the biggest Tractor/Train/Pack of Rhinos in the world. And then the shaking earth threw me. And kids fell. I actually developed tunnel vision and all my surroundings disappeared. I took one glance to make sure Diana was safe, and then I grabbed three orphan kids who were being tossed about. While Diana, Jeremy, Zack, and others did the same.

We sat on a moving ground.

I still cannot believe the power of this earth. And I have no idea how long it lasted. It felt like 10 seconds combined with 3 years. God’s power filled the earth. And all we could do was fall to the ground.

After the quake came the mayhem, with orphans crying and people wailing, dust settling and houses crumbled. It took me an hour to realize it was possible that I was not standing on the epicenter. And in fact, Port-au-Prince – with devastating population density and poorly constructed slums – was even closer to the center. And the few firsthand reports we have received suggest total destruction in the capital. The presidential palace, the Notre Dame Cathedral, a hospital, and many government buildings have collapsed. Many reports speak of more buildings having collapsed than remain standing. In our little village alone, many people have died and many others have lost their houses. Our friends have had their houses destroyed. And then, almost immediately after the earth quaked, the sun went down, leaving us with aftershocks and leaving us waiting until dawn to even begin to consider the damage. And leaving us praying that God gives us grace to sustain us tomorrow.

We will keep you updated.  

Yep, that’s right.  After marinating the chicken Haitian style,  a few lemon seeds crept into my chicken soup and flat out ruined it.  I was pretty proud of my soup,  (the first one I’ve ever made), until I took one bite that tasted like.. well, I can’t even say.  And then one after another, everyone else did too (Zack was spared with his veggie version!).  And finally Jeremy cracked it, pulling a chewed up seed out of his mouth.  As we say in Haiti, it tasted RAWFUL.  One thing is for sure, though, there’s nothing  citrusy about a cooked lemon seed.  Sorry Jay and Jeremy! 

Needless to say, learning to cook, in Haiti, makes for an interesting combination.

So while I’m on the cooking topic, does anyone have any great, easy, and/or quick recipes?  If so, please post me one here!  I’d love it!  I can get just about any ingredients I need here, so don’t worry about that.  Meci devans (thanks in advance)!

Please pray for my body that is falling apart.  For a while now, I’ve had plantar faciitis, which makes me walk like a 92 year old woman most of the day, especially in the mornings.  It is very painful to walk if I’ve been on my feet a while.  Also, I have a giant spider bite on the back of my leg that looks like a rotting sore.  And it’s kind of throbbing right now.  I had a similar one of my foot a couple weeks ago, and now it’s healed.  So don’t worry- it’s not a deadly kind!

A couple days ago, I almost lost an arm.  You see, our oven is very Haitian in the sense that just  to turn it on, you need to take it apart (Most things in Haiti don’t work quite like their American counterparts).  So there I was, with my entire arm inside the oven, and my dear friend WooWoo (40ish year old woman) was holding down a button for me.  She didn’t really know how the oven worked, so she  then proceeded to turn it to 350.  And it’s a gas oven.  And my arm was still in there.  And flames enveloped my arm.  Thankfully, I have quick as lightening reflexes (thanks mom and dad!) and came out unburned.  Amazingly.

After it all went down, WooWoo was panicking b/c 1-she felt so bad that she almost burned me, and 2-she was terrified that I would tell people.  She was so scared what people would think of her... basically, that her reputation was in danger.  I assured her that no one would care, and people would think it’s funny, but she just couldn’t let it go.  And it made me think about how often I live like I’ve got to earn my own reputation too.  And how it’s just downright embarrassing and sometimes even crushing when I’ve done something  that could “ruin” (so I think) my reputation.  And so I have to constantly be reminded, as I was by this experience, that JESUS EARNED A PERFECT REPUTATION FOR ME.  That He lived a perfect life so that title could be slapped onto each of us...so undeserved.  And completely Unmerited.  But that’s the beauty of it.  Because again and again it gives us an opportunity to run to Jesus, in thanks that we are not treated as we deserve.  I used to just believe that Jesus died for my sins.  But the “righteousness” part was kind of my job to figure out.  Now I’m seeing more and more that that’s the most ridiculous thing on the planet, b/c “those that focus on righteousness get neither righteousness nor Jesus.  People who focus on Jesus get both.” (Thanks daye!)  We can try all day to “get it together,” but it’s not until we get that we are ALREADY ACCEPTED that we can be freed to, well, be free!  And serve Jesus instead of focusing on our own reputations. 

I am here. I am alive. (this is Jay speaking). I feel conflict, unrest, peace, hope, poverty, and justice. I feel like I am fully living today. Everyday. Right where I am supposed to be. But it is not always easy, and life has been easier than this before. Still, I would not trade it for anything... though there are some things I would love to trade a goat for, including a warm shower, a working knowledge of Creole, and a county edict to remove all roosters from a 15 mile radius of my bedroom.

I feel like I am adjusting to life in Haiti though. I am seeing how comfort-spoiled I have been, and God has given grace daily to allow those comforts to die painlessly. I often feel like I have fully acclimated to life here already, and then I experience something that would seem routine to me, but is actually very far from it.

For example, getting a new tire for our truck. Not expected to be a big deal. You just go to the local Tire Kingdom to purchase a new tire. Until you pull up and the local tire shop and see things are done a little differently. The tire shop has no tire inventory, with the exception of the 4 used bike tires strewn across the yard.  Haitians are incredibly resourceful though and I stood amazed as the Haitian tire-fixer confounded me with his brilliance. Here is what he had to work with to get our bad tire inflated:

Thin slices of rubber (think party balloons)
Broken scissors (handles broken. blades functional)
Half of a philips head screwdriver (no handle)
A piece of a truck crankshaft (used for hitting stuff with force)
A used lawnmower blade (when leverage is needed)
Oily Sweatpants (to clean?)
Used motor oil (in a clorox bottle)
Flattened cardboard (still unsure why it is needed, but it functions like a denist chair, allowing the tire to rest while being repaired)
5 palm fronds (for shade)
A compressor that lacked a belt and a pull cord. (To put air in the tire, he had to find some rubber and rope to get it started). (I would have bet a donkey that he would not be able to get it started) (And he did) (So I kind of owe him a donkey)

Basically the finishing touches come when the thin rubber slices get shoved into the tire slit, oiled liberally, and then -- from what I can gather -- we are told to go drive to melt the rubber slices (balloons). I am amazed. And the tire is still working. A new truck tire here costs over $200 for a light duty truck. 4 times more than it would in America -- in this country where the average native makes less than $2 per day. So that means 3 things: 1) I wonder to myself why tires cost so much 2) of course Haitians are going to repair tires and find ways to do so effectively, and 3) We need to start importing tires to make some profit to fund the orphanage. (still praying about #3 :)

Please keep praying for us. We are learning the language, and every day feeling like we make a little more progress. It is both encouraging to see great improvements, and discouraging to still understand so little. But it is amazing getting to be a part of what God is doing here. The orphans still stop me in my tracks seeing their smiling faces, sharing joy with them, and hearing them laugh. We are making so many friends with the people in the church here. And hope to continue to be able to communicate with everyone more and more. We feel encourgaged. We feel joyful. And we feel hopeful that God will continue to be our everything.